From time to time, I keep meeting a lot of founders during networking and I often get asked for feedback about an idea that they have or the product that they’ve built. Of course, they all want honest feedback and an outside perspective that can help them improve.

However, the moment I share feedback that challenges their idea or the product, I’ve seen some jaws dropped and sometimes even a worried reaction starts to appear on the face. It’s purely because their belief about the idea or the product that they’re emotionally attached to is being broken down without then realising.

The biggest reason founders struggle with feedback is because they become attached to their idea or the product or service they’re building. I get it, when you’re passionate about building something, the idea or product no longer feels separate from you.

It becomes your personal identity. This emotional attachment changes how you process feedback. So, a lot of times any criticism in form of feedback starts to feel about you than the idea or the product.

I’ve often noticed that founders fail to create a distinction between advice vs feedback. Every is giving advices – that too for free! However, real feedback is different. It usually comes from observation, interaction and experience with your product or service.

So, that is why who gives the feedback matters such as someone who has built something similar, solved a similar problem or actually uses products or services similar to yours will usually be more insightful than random opinions from people with no context.

The first things you as a founder need to learn is to pause before reacting. What happens is because you’re emotionally attached to your idea or the product you’re building, your response is almost immediate. Even a small pause creates enough space to process feedback more clearly instead of responding and becoming defensive.

Sometimes people communicate badly while still saying something useful. If you focus on how the feedback was delivered, you may completely miss what actually matters. You need to learn to separate the tone from the truth.

Another useful habit is asking a simple question, “if this useful?” Not. “Do I like what I am hearing?” as those are two very different things.

There’s one more thing that founders should do i.e. avoid instantly accepting or rejecting feedback. Not every opinion deserves immediate action and not every criticism deserves immediate defence.

Feedback is meant for you to become better as a founder. However, the more emotionally attached you become to always being right, the harder it becomes to grow.

Because growth requires the ability to listen without collapsing, reflect without reacting and change without feeling personally attacked. And that is a skill most founders need far more than confidence.